Seasonal Ink

I had the most peculiar feeling last night. Amidst the blazing laser beams and the earth-shaking techno beats all I wanted to do was to write. Curious indeed. There was something about about the flashing beams that swept the room, blue, white, green, blue, white, green. Something about how the couch I was sitting on vibrated to the beat of the music. Bad, bad music. What was the DJ doing here? He looked even younger than me. He should be in bed now, school starts early tomorrow. Our table was in this little cocoon of glitter and confetti, lined with ugly printed couches. If I shift my eyes a little to the left I could catch a glimpse of my girlfriends making out. Making out like they had just discovered the passion one could feel in the meeting of lips. Like the first time a tongue ever tasted the sweetness of an uncertain venture. I was certain that if they had drank just a little more of that whiskey they would have stripped each other right there and then with no hesitation. Now why was I missing all that fun? I pushed my thoughts away, surprised at how much I wanted to join in their tongue action. It was their moment, none of my business to interrupt.

In front of me was a big middle-aged man. A big man with a title to his name. Just outside our little cocoon, never out of sight, was his bodyguard. The girl who had been chatting with me just a moment ago was now in his arms, fast asleep. She was just a year or two older than me, pursuing a degree in Psychology. Perky and dramatic, which she explained was because of the drama classes she used to take. I thought it was a case of Coke overdose. As I watched the two, a lady with bobbed hair joined them. She placed her arms carefully on his lap and leaned in to whisper something into his ear. His free arm moved down her waist and his fingers traced the outline of her panty through her tight dress. She giggled, and the drama girl stirred. The bobbed hair girl caught my eyes, and I hurriedly look away.

To my right was a bunch of guys pretending to be humping each other and laughing as though it was the funniest joke in the whole wide world. Recently I’ve discovered that the world really isn’t that wide, and that perhaps people really are related through six degrees of connection. One of them saw me and came over. I quickly took out my phone and pretended to be sending a message.

“Hey. Are you okay?”

He was the fifth person to ask me if I was okay.

“Yeap.”

“Not enjoying?”

“It’s okay.”

“Your friends there, wow.”

I looked at the direction he was nodding at and quickly turned away. I can’t join in the action!

“Yeah, wow.”

“You’re really quiet, aren’t you?”

Not knowing what to reply, I gave him a smile. What do people expect as answer to that question, anyway? If you know that someone is “really quiet” you should excuse yourself and retreat as quickly as possible, not pose another question and prolong the conversation. He began saying something but this time the music changed and more noisy thumping beats were hitting the ceiling; the DJ felt that it was entirely appropriate to yell at the top of his lungs into the microphone for no reason at all. I gave him another smile instead of asking him to repeat himself. I wondered if he thought my braces was cute. Perhaps taking the cue, he nodded to himself and stared into space.

After an unproductive five minutes passed, a half-drunk classmate came over and held his glass up high. “FOR ETERNITY!” Nobody answered. Maybe half-drunk was an understatement. He took my wrist and yank me up. “Come on! FOR ETERNITY!” I took my glass of coke and pretended it was spiked. “For eternity, of course,” I mumbled as I gulped down the drink. Satisfied, he gave a rather loud belch and retreated into the group of humping guys. I plopped back onto the couch and crossed my arms.

A repeat of observing surroundings, and a repeat torrent of thoughts. For eternity, indeed. As I sat there that night I realised how when you decide to stay stagnant for a few hours you could create a routine by not doing anything at all. As I waited for the hours to pass it felt like eternity. As I watched the people around me in a flood of debauchery partying I wondered if I had somehow lost myself in them.

Where was I? What was I doing there?