I could already feel the sweat forming on my back, and it wasn’t just because of the burning spotlights. I dried my wet palms and strutted onto the stage. They started to cheer. They clapped and they whistled and they cheered, I could see some of them waving their hands at me but I couldn’t tell who they were.
Funny. I don’t even know these people.
“Evening,” I smiled, and the crowd settled down. I felt powerful. I took a deep breath and continued. “This had been a fantastic night, and I am honoured to be here tonight to present the award that was specially created for this one person who is incredibly talented.”
All of a sudden the silence was overwhelming. It was as if everyone stopped breathing. I felt like laughing, except that it was really inappropriate to do so. I wished to disappear.
“This is for the woman who is so proud, that she would not reveal any weaknesses that she might possess to the public eye. A perfectionist who produced countless music that have become so much a part of us. Someone who had retreated into silence, recluse, for reasons nobody could fathom.
“Ladies and gentleman, this is the person whose heart was so broken that it could not be healed, not entirely. This is the person who had been hurt by the very thing that had made her whole – music. Tonight, by presenting this award, I will have broken her trust in me to hide the truth from you. She wishes nobody to know that she is sick, that she is unable to make music anymore – but my mother, Serena Torres, deserves this honour.”
I could hear little gasps now, eyes widened, brows knitted into frowns. I had expected more cheers. My hands were shaking now; the bright lights were hurting my eyes.
“I hope, that next week, on the Christmas day, when you are sitting by your fireplace to the warmth of the fire, Lovely Christmas will accompany your night. That when you are dancing in your living room with your first child, it will be to Deft Steps. That when you propose to your sweetheart in that trendy restaurant, My Heart In Your Hands will guide you. That when you passed your driving test and run the wheels on the highway for the first time, you will be blasting High Road High Love.
“I hope that you will think of her when her songs play, and remember this woman who has made our lives so much brighter with the magic of her songs.”
I turned to my right and nodded at the runner. He wheeled my mother out – my mother with her hair brushed perfectly in place, with her face made up in the most beautiful colours and her body clothed in the most magnificent dress. My mother would never want to be seen in anything less than perfect.
The audience stood up and cheered for my mother, the most respectable figure in the industry.
But the most respectable figure in the industry did not know who they were cheering for, or what she was doing on the stage of the most prestigious music award show. The most respectable figure in the industry did not know who she was.
Tears started to blur my eyes, but I had to hold it in. I cannot cry.
“The Golden Lifetime Achievement Award,” I said, kneeling down beside the wheelchair, “is for Serena Torres.”
I kissed my mother on the cheek and pressed the little trophy into her arms.
Her secret was out tonight, and if she was lucid, I hope that she would forgive me.